Alcoholism Is Not About Alcohol

Before I got sober, I believed that learning to control my drinking would solve everything. I thought I would finally be healthy, my life would miraculously get on track, and the chaos would magically be eliminated.

 How It Started

Unfortunately, I could never moderate. I had to stop, completely. Here's the kicker, once I stopped drinking, I learned that the way I used alcohol was just a symptom of a much deeper issue. In fact, in early recovery, my life got worse. Wild mood swings, insomnia, an inability to relax, relationships blew up, and compulsive behaviors with food, shopping, and sex took over. I clung to anything that wasn’t alcohol or drugs, desperate for relief.

An Alcoholic?

I’ve heard it said that if quitting drinking makes your life worse, it’s a sign you’re a true alcoholic. Me! That was exactly my experience. I wanted so badly to believe my problems were caused by anything but alcohol because I desperately did not want to stop. It was my comfort and I needed it! I even went to a psychiatrist, hoping for a diagnosis that could be solved with medication so I could keep drinking. Looking back, I can see how irrational this was, but at the time, it felt like the only way to cope. And this, my friends, is the insanity of alcoholism. 

Truth

Alcoholism isn’t really about alcohol—it’s about the pain, trauma, and unmet needs that drive the behavior. Alcohol becomes the tool to numb anxiety, loneliness, shame, or overwhelm. Recovery, I learned, wasn’t just about stopping drinking. It was about addressing the underlying issues, healing emotional wounds, and learning new, healthier ways to manage life’s challenges.

 Turning Point

For me, the turning point came when I found a fellowship of people who truly understood. I had resisted this path for so long—I’m not a “joiner”—but nothing else worked (believe me, I tried everything). In that community, I found support, tools, and hope. I found I was not the only person to think, feel, behave, and process information and life in, what I thought to be a truly abnormal way. Recovery required me to face myself honestly, shift my mindset, and replace destructive habits. It wasn’t easy, but almost 25 years in, it was wholly with it! I have true freedom and peace.

You are not alone

If you’re struggling with alcohol (or substances because it's all the same) and don’t know where to turn, you should know, you’re not alone. Literally thousands of people feel exactly as you do. I’ve been there too, and I can help. Whether you need resources, direction, or guidance, reach out. Recovery is possible, and it’s the first step toward a life of freedom.

Contact me: sandy@flynnholistic.com or 213-364-6669.